Let me start out by saying I LOVE vacation. The being in a new place and not worrying about our regular schedule, seeing new things through the kids' eyes, exploring cool spots around different cities-- so much fun!!
Notice I said "fun" and NOT "relaxing." Those of you who are childless that are reading this, take note: ENJOY YOUR VACATIONS BEFORE YOU HAVE KIDS BECAUSE AFTER YOU HAVE A CHILD THEY WILL BE ANYTHING BUT RELAXING (that applies to pretty much every area of life actually but I digress...)
Yes, family vacations are a fabulous way to create lifelong memories. The "getting there" part, however, makes me want to poke my eyeballs out.
So there we were, on the way to Silver Lake. While we were loading 867 totes of clothes, approximately 900 different pieces of baby gear paraphernalia, enough snacks and drinks to satisfy a couple third world countries, Tim and I shrugged off the two hour drive ahead of us. I mean it's just two hours, right? Even if it was full of screaming and pain, we can take ANYTHING for only two hours, we thought.
Uhh.. did we totally forget that we have kids?
Let me just lay the highlights of this particular car ride out for you:
There are five words every parent loathes hearing, especially while in the car: "LOOK AT THE MESS, MOMMY!"
First of all, I gotta say.. WHY "MOMMY?!?!?!" I mean DADDY is riding in the truck as well! I guess unbeknownst to me I am wearing a sign around my neck that says "CAPTAIN OF THE CLEAN-UP CREW." So of course I rubberneck around the headrest of my seat to see what's going on with Anna who as alerted me to this problemo.
Oh I'm sorry, did she say "MESS?!" I think she meant "ATOMIC BOMB."
Ah yes.. an ENTIRE CONTAINER of formula is spilled at Anna's feet right along with like a five pound bag of peanuts and an entire bag of Chex Mix. Honestly, more than anything I'm impressed all of this happened within like the first five miles of being on the highway. It was some SERIOUS damage in a stunningly short amount of time and I have no idea how Anna was able to reach any of it. NEVER underestimate the capabilities of a 2.5 year old.)
I snap back in my seat so I'm looking forward, trying hard not to let Tim see the fact that my eyes are about to pop out of my head. You see, my dear husband does NOT do well with matters such as this. He likes things clean.. VERY CLEAN (yes, those of you who know me, go ahead, SAY IT.. "opposites must attract," right? Oh har har, aren't you all so witty!)
It's too late, he can see my nostrils flaring and can tell I'm trying to keep composed.
"MEL, WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE?" he says with a large dose of hysteria rising in his voice.
In hindsight, leading with, "So...you know Hiroshima?" may not have been the best way to break it to him.
He locks his eyes on the situation and within a half second he is mid-stroke driving 80mph down the highway.
Not good, not good at all.
NEXT UP: Ella poops. I mean she's a baby, it happens, I get it. However, when you're in a confined area it has a way of overtaking every single molecule of normal-smelling air.
Aaaaand there's Tim. Let's just say he's having "digestive issues" and leave it at that. So not only has Ella blown a hole in her diaper, now the cloud that is looming over Tim's section of the truck has taken the fresh oxygen supply in the truck down to about 2% and Patrick, Anna and I are clawing at the windows for clean air to breathe.
AS IF that isn't enough, right about that time Tim says, "Hey, ya know what? Pat hasn't gotten sick yet like he usually...*HURLING NOISE FROM THE BACKSEAT*...does."
So people, JUST TO REVIEW.. we've now got a POOP/PUKE/CRUSHED CHEX MIX smell issue going on. I mean do ya really need more of a reason to hurl yourself out onto the highway?!
As the cherry on top of a perfect road trip, the last 20 minutes of the trip we get lost and it's a race against time as we locate our hotel because yes, it's about to start pouring rain and no, we don't have anything covering all our crap in the back of the truck. (Wow, life would be so unamusing if we were prepared even like half of the time.. Hmm, hard to imagine...)
Just when we think we can't handle listening to one more fight from the backseat about who looks more like Elmo (the real kicker is this is a regular argument in our household) and will literally rip every last hair out of our heads if we hear, "ARE WE THERE YET?!" or "MOMMYYYYYY, I HAVE TO PEEEEEEE" again.. we see our hotel.
HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!
There might as well be a spotlight from Heaven on that building and I am SURE I heard angels singing as we pulled into the parking lot.
Seriously though.. isn't it funny how times when you think you're totally going to lose your mind because of the massive amounts of chaos around you that turn into the best memories? The ones that make you laugh until you cry when you talk about them later?
That car ride will go down in our family history and not even because it drove us within an inch of our sanity.. but because it's those kind of memories that make us family.
Don't think for one second that just because we all have sand permanently lodged in every conceivable orifice of our bodies that we didn't have an AWESOME family vacation. And yeah, we threw ourselves out of the truck upon returning home, kissed the ground and screamed "LAND!" and I had to basically OD on Motrin EVERYDAY to keep my assortment of headaches at bay but ya know what?
That's kinda the way we roll.. and I love it.
Aside from the time spent on the road (as well as the packing/unpacking aspect.. UGH!) we're already looking forward to our next trip! :D
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